Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Get Some New Stories
It's a damned shamed your go to story is that your mom fucked Joe Frazier's driver in 1973.
Everytime a phone rings you jump into it. ““Is that a booty call? Ha Ha.”
“Why does Jaime Foxx have more X's on his last name than Vivica?”
“I really thought she was gonna blow up after Independence Day.”
“Her and Will Smith made that movie. My second favorite Will Smith movie after Ali.”
“You know my mom went to the first Ali Frazier fight?”
(Nobody inquires but you keep going anyway.)
“Yeah she was dating (fucking) Joe Fraziers driver at the time and he hooked her up.”
Get some life experiences I am sick of hearing that shit.
Everytime a phone rings you jump into it. ““Is that a booty call? Ha Ha.”
“Why does Jaime Foxx have more X's on his last name than Vivica?”
“I really thought she was gonna blow up after Independence Day.”
“Her and Will Smith made that movie. My second favorite Will Smith movie after Ali.”
“You know my mom went to the first Ali Frazier fight?”
(Nobody inquires but you keep going anyway.)
“Yeah she was dating (fucking) Joe Fraziers driver at the time and he hooked her up.”
Get some life experiences I am sick of hearing that shit.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Our love's in Jeopardy.
“I'll take Faggots Named George for a thousand Alex."
“This Faggot Named George was the most prolific cocksucker of the past 30 years.”
“Who is me?”
“No, sorry.”
“Who is me?”
“No Ma'am, but you did have a good run.”
“Don't look at me I am just curious.”
“Who is me?”
“Correct! After his run on Star Trek; George Takei was type cast and had trouble finding work. Distraught and very gay he set out to suck as many dicks as possible.”
“Mission Accomplished!”
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Well Laid Plans
Dorothy, Sophia, Blanche, Rose. That's the order I would fuck the golden girls in. If you were wondering.
Dorothy is the leader. She is like Lion-0 to the rest of these ThunderCougars. I get in there and blow her back out real quick then the rest of them will be sweet little pussy cats for me to have eating out of my hand.
Sofia got some years on her. She done had some 1930's dick in her. Depression dick. I am sure she supported the troops with that pussy in the 40's too. D-day dick. I'll get up in the guts and cause some flashbacks, she'll be yelling "I like Ike" while I am hittin that.
Blanche knows some tricks. I'll be writing a blog on the shit she pulled out of the hat on me. I would just show up with my dick and let her plan the picnic.
A Rose by any other name is still a dumb bitch. I like that shit though, it don't matter if they are 17 or 65, bitches be playing games. I can hear her now, "Oh I don't know if I can do that." Yes you can bitch let me show you. I'll have to play the game with her until I get it in, but then I am going to pin that ass to the bed and do some hardcore pound fucking.
Dorothy is the leader. She is like Lion-0 to the rest of these ThunderCougars. I get in there and blow her back out real quick then the rest of them will be sweet little pussy cats for me to have eating out of my hand.
Sofia got some years on her. She done had some 1930's dick in her. Depression dick. I am sure she supported the troops with that pussy in the 40's too. D-day dick. I'll get up in the guts and cause some flashbacks, she'll be yelling "I like Ike" while I am hittin that.
Blanche knows some tricks. I'll be writing a blog on the shit she pulled out of the hat on me. I would just show up with my dick and let her plan the picnic.
A Rose by any other name is still a dumb bitch. I like that shit though, it don't matter if they are 17 or 65, bitches be playing games. I can hear her now, "Oh I don't know if I can do that." Yes you can bitch let me show you. I'll have to play the game with her until I get it in, but then I am going to pin that ass to the bed and do some hardcore pound fucking.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Best Little Cocksucker in Texas
“Man that bitch can suck a dick!"
“Shit That Bitch be controlling it, two hands, no hands, she knows where your dick is going before it gets there.”
“Ho sucked my dick one time, I woke up the day before. When the time came I went and got my dick sucked again, I have been stuck in that loop for centuries.”
"Great Scott!!"
“That Bitch sucked my dick, I forgot how to walk. Had to relearn that shit like a baby, that’s embarrassing a grown ass man taking two steps then falling down from exhaustion, it was worth it though.”
“That Bitch sucked my dick one time and took my manhood. I couldn’t look a nigga in the eye for weeks. Walking in the store talkin bout ‘yes sir’ ‘thank you sir’ to mother fuckin Habib and them. Man fuck Habib.”
Friday, July 25, 2008
Everything is gonna be allright
Who got a neck longer than a giraffe? NOBODY cue the motherfucking Keith Sweat.
I don’t care how much money you got your neck ain’t never going to be as long as a giraffe’s. You can get them national geographic rings, you neck still coming up short.
My point is, I ain’t really got no point cause I am drunk. But anyway a motherfucking giraffe got a long neck and you can’t take that from him. So be you, buddy. You might not got a long neck but you got something. You got at least one hand, jack off. Can a giraffe jack off? If a tree falls in the woods I will still be jacking off to Jenaveve Joile, trying to fuck that lazy eye straight. Lube up homie.
I don’t care how much money you got your neck ain’t never going to be as long as a giraffe’s. You can get them national geographic rings, you neck still coming up short.
My point is, I ain’t really got no point cause I am drunk. But anyway a motherfucking giraffe got a long neck and you can’t take that from him. So be you, buddy. You might not got a long neck but you got something. You got at least one hand, jack off. Can a giraffe jack off? If a tree falls in the woods I will still be jacking off to Jenaveve Joile, trying to fuck that lazy eye straight. Lube up homie.
Lil Pimpin Starter Kit
Lesson one: Slappin a bitch.
You rookie fucks might think you just slap a bitch and get your money right. Shit. Its been said before and it will be said again “Pimpin ain’t easy”. So Becky or whatever this bitch name is talking shit. You just trying to play Madden and do you, but she yappin in your ear about whatever the fuck bitches yap about. That’s how futuristic my pimpin is, I can’t even make reference to anything cause I don’t listen to them hoes. But yeah, slap a bitch...daily.
So in WW2, there were two bombs dropped on Japan. An atomic bomb is some serious shit why the fuck did we need to drop two? I’ll tell you. So they would know that the first one was not an accident. Pimpin is some serious shit too.
So you just slapped Jennifer or Katie one time across the face for bugging you about getting a job or whatever. Good job you are on your way, but this is where the most mistakes are made. You got to follow that shit up with some Nagasaki shit. You slap the bitch once she gonna come with that “how dare you” shit. You follow that up with another well timed slap. Not too quick or the bitch won’t be able to separate the two, and not too slow so she can recover. She’ll act right. You got to let her know it ain’t a mistake. No back tracking just straight forward pimpin.
You rookie fucks might think you just slap a bitch and get your money right. Shit. Its been said before and it will be said again “Pimpin ain’t easy”. So Becky or whatever this bitch name is talking shit. You just trying to play Madden and do you, but she yappin in your ear about whatever the fuck bitches yap about. That’s how futuristic my pimpin is, I can’t even make reference to anything cause I don’t listen to them hoes. But yeah, slap a bitch...daily.
So in WW2, there were two bombs dropped on Japan. An atomic bomb is some serious shit why the fuck did we need to drop two? I’ll tell you. So they would know that the first one was not an accident. Pimpin is some serious shit too.
So you just slapped Jennifer or Katie one time across the face for bugging you about getting a job or whatever. Good job you are on your way, but this is where the most mistakes are made. You got to follow that shit up with some Nagasaki shit. You slap the bitch once she gonna come with that “how dare you” shit. You follow that up with another well timed slap. Not too quick or the bitch won’t be able to separate the two, and not too slow so she can recover. She’ll act right. You got to let her know it ain’t a mistake. No back tracking just straight forward pimpin.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
